Are you wondering how to breakup with someone who thinks you’re the one? Initiating a breakup can be awful and will leave you feeling guilt, anger, or grief. After all, you truly cared or loved everything about this person at one point. Luckily, you don’t have to struggle about how to go about it as this article highlights ten rules for breaking up gracefully.
Rule 1: Choose the Right Time and Place
Opt for a private and neutral location to have the conversation. Don’t go to a restaurant with loud music as you won’t be able to present, listen, ask questions, or hear what they might have to say. Also, avoid public places altogether, as it will be hard for them to control an emotional outpouring.
Don’t waste time putting off the inevitable; it will cause more harm downhill. If you feel it’s time you part ways, address the issue promptly and gently. You owe it to your soon-to-be ex a face-to-face breakup conversation. Though common nowadays, breakups in text hurt terribly and leave everyone confused.
Rule 2: Be Honest but Kind
When ending the relationship, be direct and explicit. Avoid vagueness and show your partner respect by being transparent and sure about your reasons for breaking up. Keep it short and succinct because if you’re unclear, your partner may get mixed signals and stay around much longer.
Be honest but not harsh. Imagine being the one receiving the sad news of an imminent breakup. Be gentle, but it’s no longer your responsibility to help them cope. Comforting them will just make everything worse. Open and honest communication sets clear boundaries and paves the way for understanding and acceptance.
Rule 3: Prepare for Different Reactions
Unless the relationship didn’t last long, you should be aware of how your partner reacts when they’re sad or angry. Do they cry? Lose their temper and break glasses? Will they beg you to forgive them? Also, consider if you’re easily manipulated by them. Either way, prepare and deal calmly with the various reactions.
At the same time, acknowledge you can’t control their reaction, especially given it’s unpleasant news. “There’s no surety that the conversation will be effective because you can only control the message sent, not how it’s received,” says AstroInner love specialist James. Still, you can influence how well the message is received by not seeming ignorant.
Rule 4: Avoid Blame and Accusations
Obviously, there’s a lot of blame going around about who messed up the relationship. Thus, state why you want to break up, and don't pick apart the person’s flaws to explain how they were not your match. Focus on what’s working and what's not working. Plus. add bits about some things you like about them.
Take full responsibility for your decision, rather than blaming it on circumstances like job loss or the death of a close one or on your partner. Don’t beat around the bush or list a Rolodex of accusations and reasons behind the breakup. It’s neither of you who is a bad person rather, it’s the combination of both of you together that’s causing less happiness and less fulfillment.
Rule 5: Listen Actively
It may be tempting to drink a couple of beers or cocktails since alcohol is a verbal lubricant, but when we’re drunk, we’re not present. And, in this situation, it’s wise to listen to your partner without defending yourself. At least give them the respect to listen to them as they pour their heart out and become somber.
Though you’ll lead the conversation, listen carefully to what they say. You’ll probably hate what you hear, and your partner may react in several ways, but they will likely just want to be heard. Also, consider your partner’s present needs and be prepared to act and address anything they voice appropriately.
Rule 6: Set Clear Boundaries
Stick to your decision as they grieve. Let them know you prepared this beforehand and that you seriously thought it through. Setting clear boundaries for breaking up with someone makes the breakup easier for both. If you’re serious about the breakup, do not be swayed by tears or pleading.
At this point, you can’t be indecisive. Rather, state your intentions seriously and definitively. Remember, this decision could have a long-term effect on you and your partner, so it cannot be flippant. Do not ghost your partner at any point, as doing so will only escalate the situation and could lead to much hate and depression.
Rule 7: Be Prepared for Follow-Up Conversations
If you want to leave them feeling confident about what was real and what wasn’t, answer any questions as honestly as possible. Clarity helps both of you process the breakup and stick to the facts. Also, don’t go deep into the details. Some of the best answers that have been known to work for complicated questions, according to my psychic expert, include;
- “I don’t know” - This is a valid statement as you break it off with someone.
- “It’s like I said earlier” - Repeat your answer if they say the same thing.
- “I’m sorry” - It’s a valid answer if there’s nothing really to say.
Rule 8: Practice Self-Care
If it helps, talk things through with a trusted friend or spend time alone to recuperate and reflect on your future. The love is gone, and it’s time for a thorough assessment of your feelings. Engage in positive activities that will maintain your mental health. What’s done is done. Focus on moving forward.
When you’re having trouble missing your ex, be proactive rather than reactive. Avoid the “let’s be friends” route. Rather, state clearly your policy on communication and set boundaries. Remember to be consistent in your decisions and don’t text them when you feel lonely. Acts of self-care can range from meditation and yoga to singing karaoke with your workmates.
Rule 9: Reflect on the Relationship
It’s okay to reminisce the good old memories with your lover. But it’s not a time to blame yourself for your decision. If it was paramount that you break up, let go of any blame you might place on yourself, as all relationships don’t align. For the majority, it takes a few tries to find their perfect match.
Acknowledge your role in it not working out. It’s also kind to share reflections about what you like about your partner. Be real about why your life is better since they were a part of it. Such thoughts are well-placed at the end of the conversation. Regardless of the bad ending, thank your partner for all the fantastic memories.
Rule 10: Allow Time for Healing
Cut off any communication with your soon-to-be ex. Embrace the freedom of single life by treating yourself to a spa, traveling, or learning astrology from AstroInner. After the breakup, sever any ties with your former partner, as it might invoke feelings since the breakup is still raw.
Eventually, as you start imagining or finding your dream partner, consider your best interests to avoid another breakup. As for gifts and photos, place them in a box or drive and check them later after you’ve processed the breakup.
