Do you want another shot with your ex? Does life completely suck without them, and want to get back with your ex? The truth is, you’ll need a game plan to get your ex back. That means shedding off unattractive behaviors, being vulnerable, and expressing your emotions authentically. This guide discusses seven proven tips for trying to win your ex back.
When to Get Back With an Ex
The best time to get back with an ex is when everybody’s emotions have subsided and you’ve recovered from the breakup. Only try to win back your ex when you’re content and happy with yourself and are sure that if you get back, you could form a healthy relationship. Also, you can try to get back with an ex after they’ve shown genuine interest in you.
AstroInner love expert Beckham suggests undergoing personal evolution with yourself to a point where you say, “My life is amazing,” before deciding to get someone back. Ask yourself, do you want your ex back? Or are you overwhelmed with emotional memories and miss having a steady partner, regular sex, and their company during dinner?
Give It Time Before Reconnecting
Before starting the reconciliation process, it’s best to take time to heal and focus on self-care. Avoiding contact gives you ample time to process the complex emotions that sprout after a breakup. It’s your time to be responsible, confident, in shape, happy, and ambitious to attract your ex easily.
Spend time with friends and family to engage your mind and stop thinking about your ex. This process involves a commitment to personal growth to ensure that what led to the heartbreak doesn’t recur. Exes return after giving them space and tackling underlying nuances that led to the breakup. However, a second chance is never guaranteed.
Reflect on What Went Wrong and How to Fix It
You probably broke up for a very legitimate reason. But anything is solvable, and it only requires the right approach and mindset. Figure out the root cause of the breakup and what part of the raised concerns was under your control. Look at the relationship objectively and ask yourself questions like the ones below before moving forward.
- Was the breakup due to a specific event like cheating?
- Or was it because of a slow decline in communication and trust?
- Were there deeper issues that were never addressed?
- And, are there signs of old patterns to continue if you reconcile?
If your ex is into you and puts in the effort, there’s a slight chance of mending your relationship. Otherwise, if they are unwilling, unable, or unenthusiastic to help you, and vice versa, it’s a big no for trying to mend the relationship.
Reach Out to Your Ex to Talk About the Relationship
After taking the time to reflect on the relationship pitfalls, reach out and initiate a conversation, being mindful of their feelings and boundaries. Keep the conversation light while avoiding sensitive and emotionally charged topics. If any events led to the breakup, it’d be wise to apologize and make amends for any vicious words or actions, says Beckham.
However, don’t beg or plead with your ex for another shot. You can’t force them to love you, go on a date, or pay attention to you. Ideally, the cry foul only makes them resent you more. Also, don’t chase or pursue your ex, as the nagging will only annoy them much further. Moreover, be respectful and handle everything they throw at you, except plates or glasses, like a mature adult.
Bring Up the Possibility of Getting Back Together
Even though winning your ex back is the ultimate goal, you must meet them with the notion they might not want you back. If you want your ex back, be authentic and bold and utter what’s in your heart without expecting any answer. If they are receptive and enthusiastic after expressing your interest, invite them for a physical date.
Meanwhile, once you express your interest in getting your ex-boyfriend back, give your ex space and time to process everything. Respect their pace and decision-making process regarding whether or not they’ll give you another shot. In the process, demonstrate you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions and take concrete steps towards change.
Have a Trial Period
If you get back with your ex, things can totally work out, but that’s only if you’ve both changed. Before going full blast into the relationship, you can have a trial period to confirm several factors, including;
- If you have learned from the breakup and acknowledged your mistakes
- Altering the behaviors that made you fall apart
- Redefining your values and learning to accept each other’s flaws
- It’s a time to repair mutual trust, respect, and affection, which are the fundamental aspects of any healthy relationship.
This is the period to know if you can elevate your level of intimacy or take things slow for now. It’s the time to just spend together and allow your ex to realize you’re ready for a healthy relationship. Don’t try to accelerate the relationship. Instead, keep your cool and let them see you are happy and working on being a better person.
Ease Back Into the Relationship
Rekindling an old flame is more manageable than starting fresh since you already know what they like, don’t like, and how sensitive or insensitive they might be. It’s possible to nail it with round two, but take things slow. When you start dating again, keep the relationship casual, classy, and respectful as you draw them in.
Understand it’s still a long way before you normalize things between the two of you. Obviously, it’s going to feel and look different. Luckily, different doesn’t always have to mean worse. But, for love to work, it must be surrounded by trust, care, concern, mindfulness, and support from both parties for the relationship to work.
Conclusion
As we have learned, self-improvement is paramount to get back with your ex. Also, take time to understand why you abandoned the relationship and how to turn stumbling words into smooth, confident dialogues. Spark a real connection and show them why they loved you in the first place. Most importantly, take things slow and establish a foundation of love, support, and respect. For further and more specific help, seek personalized tips from AstroInner love experts.
